Pre Residential
When the message first dropped in my Inbox – Class Residential – my heart sank for a few moments (I knew it was coming, Heidi had already mentioned it to me) and the Mum instinct went into overdrive:
- would Heidi be OK?
- would she be safe?
- how would the School look after her?
- what kind of activities would she do?
- was there any danger?
…but most of all, that sudden realisation that this really was the first big step of starting to let her go. A step I really wasn’t ready for…my baby growing up!
Despite all the emotions, I knew that I would have to let her go – it would be an amazing opportunity for her and no matter how much I loved to wrap her in cotton wool I would never stop her from doing something that she really wanted to do – how could I let my worries and insecurities dampen her excitement?
But how was I going to cope? By asking lots of questions (mainly in our School Mum’s Group Chat) and researching the residential setting of course. I looked up the location and all the potential activities that she could be doing and then made a list of all the things that could potentially happen…and yes that included the worst of thoughts.
Kayaking – what if she fell into the water and drowned, who would save her…maybe a little irrational – Heidi can swim, maybe not Olympic Gold Standard but certainly enough to save herself – but that didn’t mean we shouldn’t increase her trips to Swimming in the meantime – practice makes perfect and all that!
How would she tie up her hair – completely irrational and it’s certainly not a life and death situation is it? But anyone who knows my daughter will know that Heidi takes great pride in her appearance and wandering around a residential setting for 3 days, looking like Edward Scissorhands, would definitely cause her stress! So we worked on simple hair styles, ensuring that she could tie in a band without too much fuss. Yes, it’s a little thing, but it’s those little things that are important to our children that become important to us. Giving Heidi the confidence she needs to sort out her own hair has turned what was a big deal to her into just another thing she’ll start to do for herself now…another little bit of independence.
The worries I had initially, certainly varied on the irrational scale! Thankfully they started to ease a little once we had the school residential meeting to clarify what would happen, where they would stay, what activities they would take part in and the general itinerary of the trip. The videos shown of the residential setting certainly eased our minds too, it gave a good insight into how it would be for them – it really did look like an amazing opportunity for them all!
The school also reassured parents of the safety measures in place and what would happen in the event of illness, accidents etc – and provided a contact number for both the residential setting and the teacher’s emergency mobile – obviously, I’ll have to resist the temptation to call and check how Heidi’s hair is doing! But it’s a little reassuring all the same.
We’re literally less than 2 weeks away now until she goes…and as worried as I still am I certainly feel less panicky than I did when the Residential was initially announced. Having said that I haven’t waved her Goodbye yet…
During Residential
Yep the send-off was as hard as I thought it would be, for me not so much Heidi – her little lips did quiver slightly and I got an extra tight squeeze, but she held it together well. I could tell she was scared, but excited – definitely mixed emotions. As much as my heart didn’t want to let her to go – I was proud, a real brave moment for her when she stepped onto the coach and waved me goodbye… (Not so brave for me though when I shed a few tears from my car!)
The days at home were certainly strange without Heidi around – the house was so much quieter and most definitely tidier – it did have its plus points! I found the nights the hardest though – no goodnight kisses, no switching off her lights and checking in on her before bed… And the days, well I spent almost every hour stalking the school’s social media pages for updates on how it was going – but as soon as I saw her little face enjoying the activities I felt so relieved. It also helped having our Mum’s Group Chat too – sharing any updates or worries with one another.
Back Home
It was definitely a long few days and nights – and when Friday arrived I struggled to concentrate on the day as I was too excited… counting down the hours until I could give Heidi a huge hug! I had the whole scenario mapped out in my head – she would dash off the bus all happy and smiley, give me the biggest hug and tell me she had missed me so much!
Well, the reality wasn’t quite so romantic…she got off the bus, hair all wild, frowning, carrying bags of wet clothes (they had just been Kayaking before they left), and her first words were ‘Mum, can you get these please?’ and piled me with her dirty washing!
Of course, I instantly wrapped my arms around her – but she wasn’t impressed. I couldn’t decide if she was embarrassed that I had done it in front of her friends or if she was just tired and grumpy…it still felt nice to give her a squeeze though. I had missed her so much!
The journey home in the car didn’t really get much better – it must have taken all but 30 seconds for her and her sister to start bickering! As much as it drove me mad I was just pleased we were all back together and normality and the chaos had resumed!
I did manage to get all the details over the weekend, although in small snippets, but she’d had the most amazing time and was so proud of herself for taking part in all the activities – even the ones that she had been worrying about. I was certainly proud too. She had survived without me and most importantly, she had made lots of memories with her friends – and yet somehow managed to come back a little more grown up than when she had left.
Am I ready for next year’s residential? Certainly not!!!! Well, maybe a little. As much as it was a worrying time for me it has given my little girl the confidence to flourish on her own – her first real taste of independence, and for that, I’m thankful.
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